We seem to be living in a time when people exhibit a perplexing capacity to disregard the complexity and nuance of any given situation in preference of their own particular, albeit partial point of view. Yet, none of us has a monopoly on the truth. Indeed, the wisest among us seem to excel at seeking, considering, and synthesizing multiple points of view…Read More
It’s probably no surprise to anyone who’s been in an intimate relationship that we become attached to those we love in both weird and wondrous ways. If you’re curious about how that happens and how to work with the stuff that comes up when you’re attached in relationship, here’s a quick overview of the underlying psychology at play—attachment dynamics…Read More
We don’t just fall in love, we fall for love—for the potential of realizing our ideal love in relationship with each other.
However, loving a person while sharing the responsibilities of day-to-day life is challenging, and often, decidedly unsexy…Read More
Hello, 2018. I salute you.
res·o·lu·tion ˌrezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n / noun
1. a firm decision to do or not to do something.
2.the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.
It's a new year. I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.
As much as I appreciate commitments and solutions, the implicit focus on problem-solving for the year to come has never much appealed to me.
So many resolutions are based on wants and "shoulds," thus destined to be short-lived and unfulfilled...and ultimately unfulfilling...Read More
What would the world be like if we realized the integrity at the heart of our humanity? What if we could actualize the positively wise, compassionate, and powerful aspects of who we are no matter what the circumstances? What if we could create the conditions to catalyze these in others?
We human beings have a peculiar habit of dividing ourselves, each other, and our world in ways that perpetuate...Read More
If my conversations of late are any indication, many feel the world has grown colder and meaner in recent years. From customer service to political discourse, the tone has changed from concern to contempt. Online conversations frequently resemble the modern-day equivalent of bar-room brawls in which people fling capitalized insults at one another. Even dinner table conversations are so fraught with potential conflict that often people no longer care how they communicate if they care to communicate at all.
Welcome to the world of "haters gonna' hate," "I don't give a fuck," and "I have so few fucks left to give." Ditto free time and discretionary funds.
Of course, we can and do...Read More
When we accept the invitation to visit another’s home if we have any social grace at all, we go with gratitude, appreciating whatever hospitality our host may offer. We go with a willingness to adapt ourselves as best we can to the conditions and culture of the house.
While there, we consider our host’s preferences and needs. We mind our manners and mind our own business. We clean up after ourselves and help out as best we can. We try not to offend or break anything. Upon our departure, we try to leave everything better than when we found it and remember to thank our host for opening her home to us.
Being a good listener is a lot like being a good houseguest...Read More
As darkness descends earlier and earlier each day, I find myself reluctant to embrace shorter days and long nights. The chill in the air has me reaching for sweaters and snuggles. I want to slow down even as the work-pace quickens in the compressed schedule of pre-holiday season. Getting back to school and down to business rules the day.
Jane Austen called autumn “that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness.” It is the season of crimson, saffron, pumpkin, and gold…a season to savor hard-won harvests, colorful feasts, and warm nests amidst darkness and decay...Read More
During this election season, I've participated in many conversations about politics. While I am fortunate to have friends affiliated with very different political persuasions who are willing to discuss our differing viewpoints with good humor and good grace, it seems that this capacity is often lacking.
Recently, I commented on a friend's post:Read More
Many of you know that I regularly offer gift sessions on a pay it forward basis. Some people upon discovering this, express concern that I may be taken advantage of, especially when they learn that I do not screen potential recipients or ask for any proof of income or how they’re going to pay it forward. Although I appreciate their concern, I’m always a bit surprised. I find it hard to imagine that people would actually lie to get some free yoga, meditation, and/or coaching sessions.
More importantly, I’d rather trust people. I figure the last thing someone struggling financially needs is...Read More
Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvellous error!—
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart
I said: Along which secret aqueduct
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?Read More
Twice a year, the sun is positioned directly above the equator, and the world celebrates the equinox, heralding the beginning of Vernal Spring or Autumnal Fall, depending on where one lives. The word equinox is derived from the latin words, aequus, meaning “equal,” and nox, meaning “night,” signifying one of two occasions in which the duration of night and day is approximately equal, the balance of darkness and light.Read More
Early this morning (way too early), I awoke to the yowls of our cat who occasionally decides that we need to rise before dawn for no apparent reason. Since she's as old as Methusala now, I feel compelled to check on her when she yowls in case she's in the throes of death, which is the only reason any cat should be incessantly yowling at me before dawn. That, and she's completely deaf now, so shushing her does nothing to quiet her, and it doesn't seem sporting to to use a spray bottle to squirt water at an elderly, deaf cat.
I try to think of these morning yowling sprees as developing my compassion. So I poke my head over the side of the bed. She’s there on the floor yowling up at me. I reach over and pet her. She can’t jump up onto the bed anymore, but she’s definitely not dying. Sigh...Read More
I salute you. I am your friend, and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not. But there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace!Read More
'Tis the season for gifts and giving, comfort and joy, peace on earth, and goodwill to all.
Yet, despite the glad tidings of the season, there are many among us who feel less than merry or downright blue during the holidays. Emotional responses to personal challenges are often intensified during this time of increased cultural pressures to be of good cheer. The inability to be with loved ones—be they deceased, afar, or estranged—can infuse the holidays with discomforting sadness and grief. Holiday consumption, impulsive spending, dietary overindulgence, un(der)employment woes, and financial hardships can create anxiety, worry, and dread.
Moreover, many of us may endure stressful travel conditions to arrive at childhood homes beset with family dynamics and expectations (unchecked assumptions, unresolved conflicts, unsolicited opinions) that may not fully embrace our current selves. Past surroundings prime behavioral patterns from earlier times. Furnishings, heirlooms, and scents often trigger residual responses and ways of being.
Sometimes, falling into familiar patterns in familiar places surrounded by familiar faces can be comforting. But...Read More
Sometimes, it seems the universe conspires to create the most delightful circumstances. Still, I was slow to recognize the gift as it was offered.
When my awesome client, Steve Thomas, suggested that I meet a local filmmaker looking for a few more interesting projects, I instantly thought of a few people I know who might have an interest in creating a promotional video...Read More
I shared a teaching story attributed to Paulo Coehlo in the context of a recent coaching session, and realized that others might appreciate it too. Like all storytellers, I've probably colored the tale with my own experience in the retelling, but hopefully, the essence remains.
On a recent outing, a teacher and his students witnessed in the distance a couple angrily shouting at each other.
The teacher asked his students, "Why do people in anger shout at each other?"Read More